overdue?

if you're reading this, i'm sorry i can't help you.


i really wish i could, but when you don't think/don't want/refuse to help yourself then no one else can pick up those pieces for you.

there are always going to be those who have it worse and those who have it better. as adults who have already gone through our either happy or depressing developmental stages, we can't go back and make things less miserable as we see fit.  we just have to try and make it better now.

take me for example.  i'm extremely self conscious, always have been,  and am constantly looking to gratify the needs of others in the hopes that they will, in turn, appreciate who i am for my efforts.  i'm constantly in fear that i'm being left out of something for one reason or another. yeah,  i said it. i'm selfish in that regard. so selfish in fact, that when my best efforts go unnoticed, i feel more down than i'd like to admit.  this is just one of the myriad of things i need to work on, but guess how i'm trying to work at it?

by going to the gym and eating right.
it's the me first attitude, but with the added bonus of nobody else's opinion being factored in.

i cook for me, i eat for me, i work out for me. me alone.

and the benefits?
only i see them, only i feel them. no one who passes by will know i'm actively fighting illnesses. no one has to know. the only person my activities directly affect is me.

you should never, ever, ever change anything about yourself in order to seek positive feedback from others. you should be seeking positive feedback from YOU, then everything else falls into place. it just does.

i know i live a very privileged life.  i have a great family, i have a great group of friends, i love what i'm studying, i love what i do on a regular basis.  i could easily make everything worse though just with my attitude on it.  so i won't let myself.

make lists, complete them. reorganize everything.  work out or play or make something for the 3 spare hours a day you have. stop sitting.

just stop that, right now. get up.
in fact, get a stand up desk.

do things that you know lead to positive changes. and if you can't find the positive in anything, then you're not looking hard enough.